The 10 Things You Should Remind Yourself Of Every Morning

We all have those mornings when grogginess and yawns are never-ending. Well people, wake up and smell the coffee — life really is not so bad. I tell myself to start every day with a smile, because it’s another day I’m granted to live.

It’s important to appreciate the mornings when time slaps you in the face — make that day today. For the motivation to carry on, check out the 10 things of which you should remind yourself each morning:

1. There is no better day than today.

Have you been waiting to tell someone something or do something yourself? Maybe you’ve been holding back from making a move, asking for a pay raise or pushing off that New Years resolution to diet? Stop. Today is a great day to do what you’ve been waiting to do. You just need a kick in the butt to get started — kick it yourself.

---

2. Tell yourself “Wow, I look good” before leaving the house.

But don’t be conceited about it. If you bum around every day, you’ll soon feel like a real bum. Wear those new heels or that new button-down. If you wear something that makes you feel great and confident, you’re likely to have a better day than if you only wear sweatpants. Confidence is key and people around you will respond to your positive vibes.

---

3. Don’t check social media until lunchtime.

Social media tends to be a source of many problems for people. Have you ever had a day when you do not check your phone and you’re left feeling so refreshed? Every morning should be like that. Start your day with the newspaper (yes, the real paper one, not the online version), a coffee, some breakfast and friendly small talk — you’ll just be happier, trust me.

---

4. Keep your mind open.

Don’t stress over the little things. Don’t stress about the spit your roommate left in the sink after brushing her teeth. Don’t stress over the 10 voicemails your mom sent you this morning. Most of all, don’t stress about the number of Oreos you ate last night. Wake up feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and stay collected.

---

5. Avoid your enemies.

You have no room in your schedule for negative energy today — or any day. So, wherever you are, stray to the other side of the sidewalk when you pass your enemies. If seeing them for a split second could change your mood, simply turn the other cheek.

---

6. Eat breakfast and love every damn minute of it.

I get mixed responses as to why some of my friends do not eat breakfast: “I had no time.” “I don’t like breakfast food.” “I forgot.” You forgot? Food is awesome — how can you forget? Whether it’s a granola bar, three eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes or fruit, eat breakfast. You will have more energy and your brain will work better than it would with no food.

---

7. Smile at everyone with whom you may come in contact.

A smile can go a long way. If you see a stranger, smile at him or her — it may be the only smile the person sees that day. When I smile at people, it makes me feel happy, regardless of whether or not I get a smile in return.

---

8. Yesterday is in the past and today is a new day.

So yesterday you f*cked up at work or you yelled at your best friend or significant other and had a fight. Whatever the case may be, forget about it. Move on. Don’t ever dwell on your mistakes. You’re only human and sh*t happens. Start fresh today!

---

9. You are woman (or man), let’s hear you roar.

Be the best YOU that you can be today. Work extra hard, sing extra loudly to your favorite song and laugh as much as you can. Workout longer than usual and eat your favorite fast food for dinner as a reward. Each day can be a great day — it’s all in your hands.

---

10. Breathe

Whether you want to listen to “Just Breathe” by Anna Nalick or “Breathe” by Michelle Branch, just breathe; in through your nose and out through your mouth. When you first get up in the morning, don’t jump up, don’t grab your cell phone and don’t turn on the light. Sit up and breathe. Lay your hands in your lap and close your eyes. You need to get oxygen flowing to your brain so that you can function. As you breathe, remind yourself that today is a great day to be alive.

12 Toxic Thoughts You Need To Drop For A Better Life

One of my mottoes is “Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life!” I’m a big believer that our thoughts and emotions shape our experiences. The problem is that most people aren’t even aware of their negative thoughts. It’s almost like they have just become a habit, so it seems normal to them. Here are 12 common toxic thoughts that you need to drop in order to have a better life:

1. Thinking that you are a victim.

You’re not a victim. So stop blaming other people or your circumstances for your problems. Just because you don’t like where you are now doesn’t mean that you can’t take personal responsibility to change it for the better. So get rid of that victim-mentality because it doesn’t help anything. In fact, it acts as an obstacle to success. Realize that you, and only you, are responsible for your destiny.

2. Thinking that you can change other people.

You can’t. I had to learn this the hard way. There was a time in my life when I thought I could “motivate” and “inspire” people to be their best selves. It took me a while to realize that the only thing that can change other people isthemselves. If they don’t want to change—or don’t know how—then all of your efforts will be wasted. So don’t worry about other people. If you don’t like them “as is,” then you have the choice to not hang out with them anymore. But you don’t have the right to change them.

3. Thoughts that constantly resist “What Is.”

Some things you can change. In fact, a LOT of things you can change. You can lose weight. You can find a better job. You can go back to school. You can work on your marriage. But there are some things you can’t change. Those things are simply “what is.” You can’t change that your boss is a jerk. You can change jobs, but you can’t change your boss. You can’t change the fact that you have to pay rent or your mortgage. But you can stop resisting it. Resisting the unchangeable does nothing more than frustrate you and make you miserable. So change what you can, and accept what you can’t.

4. Thinking that “The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side.”

“If only I was as pretty as that girl, then I’d be happy.”  Or “If only I was as rich as that guy, then I’d be happy.” Those kinds of thoughts aren’t true. Just because you think someone else has it better than you doesn’t mean they do. Maybe the pretty girl came from an abusive home and can’t get her life in order. And maybe the rich guy spends so much time at work that he never gets to see his family. The grass is not greener on the other side. So appreciate the grass you have. It’s your grass. So love it.

5. Having expectations of other people.

Expectations can be deadly to happiness, even if you think your expectation is reasonable, such as having your roommate or spouse do his/her share of the chores around the house. Just because you expect it doesn’t mean they will do it. Realize that your expectations come from your personal experiences and biases. They are not necessarily other people’s priority. You probably don’t like being expected to do things that you don’t want to do, so don’t impose your expectations on others. If you don’t like their behavior, either accept it, or move on.

6. Thinking that having a significant other will complete you.

If you are not a whole person already, then having a romantic partner will not make you whole. Plus, it puts a lot of pressure on the other person to “make you happy.” You need to be happy with yourself with or without someone. Having a significant other doesn’t make you happier. Only you can make yourself happy.

7. Feeling that you always need to prove that you are right.

I always wonder why people will fight to the death to prove they are “right.” What’s the point? I think it’s because they don’t want to look weak. Or vulnerable. Or stupid. But I think admitting you are wrong is a much more noble and mature thing to do. Besides, everyone has a different opinion. So why not have yours and let them have theirs?

8. Worrying about what other people think.

Why do you care? Do you think they are judging you? I’m going to let you in on a little secret. No one is judging you as much as you are judging yourself. Other people are too busy judging themselves just like you that they probably don’t even give you a second thought! So do what makes you happy. And if others are judging you, then it’s their problem, not yours. Ignore them and be happy anyway.

9. Thinking there is only ONE right and ONE wrong.

We live in a world where we like to think there is an objective reality. But guess what? Objective reality is an illusion. It doesn’t exist. Only subjective realities do. What one person thinks is the “truth” is not the truth for someone else. For example—who’s right? The Republicans or the Democrats? Well, it depends on who you ask, right? Everyone thinks something is right because it fits their life and the way they look at the world. And that’s it. Period. End of story.

10. Worrying about the future because you feel unprepared.

I love this saying: “Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.” And if you believe in the power of prayer, then you know that sending out thoughts and emotions into the Universe/God (whatever your belief system) works much of the time. So instead, be here in the NOW. Now is all you have. So be present and stop worrying about the future because you can only control it to a certain extent.

11. Thinking that money equals happiness.

We live in a capitalistic culture that values money and achievement. We think that people who have a lot of money are somehow better than those who don’t. But that’s simply not true. I’m sure there are plenty of happy monks in the world who probably don’t hold a dollar to their names. Or someone working at McDonald’s may be really happy while some billionaires aren’t. So don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to be rich to be happy. It simply isn’t true. Money is nice, but it doesn’t make you happy. Only you can do that.

12. Believing that the past determines your future.

Just because you came from a poor family, or made mistakes in the past does not mean that you can’t make your future better. If you have labeled yourself as a “failure” because of your past, then you will only continue your “failure” attitude into the future. And if you’ve heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy phenomenon, then you know that what you think, you become. So like I said in the opening paragraph: “Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life!”

I hope that this article has made you think long and hard about the toxic thoughts that probably go through your mind every day. And I bet you didn’t even know it! So start paying attention to what you think, and when you catch your negative thoughts, hit the “cancel” and “delete” buttons—FAST!

6 1/2 Things You Should Stop Expecting From Others

A few things in life to give up on -- but only if you want to gain happiness.

By Amy Shearn

1. Stop Expecting People: To Be Your Partner in Crime

A group of friends and I had been out late one night when I saw it there, glowing like a beacon: the 24-hour frozen-yogurt stand. "You have to get something with me," I urged a friend's girlfriend, who I didn't know well. At my insistence, she came with, and after I ordered a Snickers-covered chocolate something, she reluctantly ordered a small lemonade. It took me a good while to realize that she had a lot of reasons for not wanting to be my partner in crime: She was out of money, she had to be up early and was hoping to head home. I'd thought it would be a fun, dorm-room-y bonding moment, but in the end, I was forcing the connection, as if only her enjoyment would justify my own. Ditto for staying up all night, ditto for spending a lot of money on fancy soap or whatever it is. It's okay if indulging in a particular guilty pleasure makes you happy. Do it. Be happy, down to the $7.50 in extra toppings.

2. Stop Expecting People: To Be on Time

They won't be. Stop being mad about it. Just bring a book to read while you wait.

3. Stop Expecting People: To Bash You on the Way to the Copier

Pop Quiz: You turn the corner in the office and hear your name mentioned in conversation.

You...

(a) Assume they have called a special hallway meeting to discuss your many faults, foibles and fashion felonies.

(b) Try to head them off at the pass, bursting in with an, "I know, my presentation was horrible, wasn't it?"

(c) Go right back to your desk and bury your head in paperwork, hoping maybe they'll forget you exist.

(d) Think about what people usually talk about in public spaces at work, figure they are discussing some rather mundane logistical matter that concerns you, keep walking toward them and smile as you say hello.

If you answered (d), pick up your gold sticker on the way home! Regardless of what anyone was actually saying, you have a positive, balanced worldview and self-image. Trust that people think the best of you. (And, if they don't, let that be their problem, not yours.)

4. Stop Expecting People: To Like Your Catstache Picture

As you already knew on some level or another, that photo you just took of yourself holding your cat's face to your upper lip was about you and your adorable kitty. It doesn't matter if it gets 175 "likes" or retumbled 87 times or retweeted 329 times or if only your mother-in-law, who "likes" everything, "likes" your post. Post what you want to post, ride the dopamine rush, and give your feline some catnip treats to show her how much you love (not like) her, no internet required.

5. (a) Stop Expecting People: To Change

We've heard it again and again: Don't expect that you can revise (or worse, correct) someone. Loving people means loving them the way they are. Like, for example, those people in your family—you know, the ones whom you have known your whole life? You know how your little sister has always had temper tantrums when she gets hangry (half-hungry, half-angry, all-unbearable) from the day she ate her first bite right up until her wedding morning? You know how your father has always gotten grumpy when his routine gets upended making him a rotten traveler? Right. Those things are not going to change just because pants styles, presidents and gas prices have.

(b) Stop Expecting People: Not to Change

And, yet. Let's not get cynical, here. The truth is somewhere in between people changing and never changing. Don't discount the person who sets out to make a switch. When your friend swears she's giving up her constant, compulsive, IRL-conversation-killing texting habit, don't roll your eyes and text her, "Yeah, right." Sometimes a big part of a person changing is having the support of her friends and family—the more people believe in this new her, this her that doesn't constantly have a smartphone in her hands, the more she'll be able to picture what this new her can really become.

6. Stop Expecting People: To Give You a Dream Compliment

You spent what you usually spend on a week's worth of groceries on getting your hair done -- the color, the cut, the blow-out -- and it's perfect. And yet, people at the party compliment your shoes. Yes, your 15-year-old shoes, bought before the invention of Zappos, fished out of the back of the closet at the last minute. Have the grace to take a compliment for what it is, rather than moping over all the other great things about you that they overlooked—your great vision for your company (when they instead laud your ability to make peace among warring co-workers); your ninja-like hedge-clipping (when they simply praise your lawn as "tidy"). There will be an opportunity for you to wow them in the way you most want to. Greatness never goes undetected for long.